Finding Daddy
by TippierCoffee
Summary: What if Kuki's birth had turned out differently? "I'm sorry shrimp... I didn't mean to hurt you". Alternative ending to Alone.
1. Losing function

_**Author: TippierCoffee  
Disclaimer: I do not own the show "Codename: Kids Next Door", or any of its characters. All credit goes to rightful owner, Mr. Tom Warburton.**_

_**I do however own all rights to Sakura and Sheila. Please don't use either without my permission.**_

_**This is an alternative ending to "Alone"**_

_**Enjoy :)**_

* * *

Losing function

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock

"Mr. Beetles" after too long the nurse finally exited the room Kuki. She looked somewhat exhausted, as if it was her who had given birth. "Your other daughter is fine as well, we had to take her out with a plunger though"

For a moment Wally felt like doubling over in laughter at that statement, and also felt a little curious as to how in the world that worked. But his mind didn't want to make him wonder off too fa from the thought of Kuki.

"How about Kuki?"

The nurse's smile faded and she looked down shaking her head softly.

"She didn't make it"

* * *

Wally held tightly onto Kuki's dead body crying his eyeballs out, she was gone, she had left him, she had died. He caressed her hair pressing her head into his chest

"Kuki" he cried hugging her even tighter, why'd she have to leave him now?

She was all he needed, they had so many plans! But now she was gone. Never coming back to him. His mother stepped in with a nurse

"Your other daughter survived" the nurse said trying to smile, after all Kuki had been one of her co-workers. "They're both fine" she finished her sentence looking at the broken man who kept hugging his dead wife closely to his chest while crying endlessly.

He didn't bat any of the women an eye, he didn't even know whether he cared about both of his daughters being fine, horrible as that sounded.

His beautiful, lovely, wonderful Kuki had died, he would never get to hear her angelic voice ever again, he would never see her gorgeous eyes sparkle with happiness or life again, he would never feel her wonderful soft lips press against his own ever again.

"Wally?" his mother asked worriedly hoping to get response from him.

"I heard it" he sobbed weakly, not turning his head to look at her "I heard it" he repeated in a whisper. "Just go away"

Kuki was dead and nothing could ever bring her back to him, she would never see -or hold the twins which she had looked so much forward to do.

Till death do us part they had said, but why had death taken Kuki away from him so soon? There were still so many things they needed to do together.

"Do you want to hold your children Mr. Beetles?" the nurse asked him.

He felt a temper rise in him. Did the nurse not get it? Kuki was dead! And now she just expected him to ignore it, and hold his daughters, and pretend as though nothing had happened.

He took a deep breath before shaking his head softly, he still didn't bat her an eye, and he stil absolutely refused to let go of Kuki.

It wasn't so much because he didn't want to hold, or see, his wonderful daughters, but the only thing he could think about was his beloved Kuki who lay sloppily and lifelessly in his strong arms. His daughters deserved love, they deserved the best and he knew he couldn't give them that when he was grieving like this.

"Mom?" he asked with a shaky hoarse voice, finally looking his mother eye to eye, and it nearly broke her heart to see her oldest son this defeated.

"Yes dear?" she asked coming up to him putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Could you..." he swallowed a little trying to hold back all of these tears without much luck "Could you take care of them for me?... I.. I can't..."

"Of course" his mother said, understanding his current position "But you'll have to pay child well fair to me, otherwise I can't afford giving them a healthy life"

Wally nodded in understanding still not letting go of Kuki.

"Thank you"

"Any time my little kangaroo" Kayla said, ruffling his hair lovingly.

"I'll have to go so the morgue guys can come up" the nurse mumbled leaving the room. Kayla followed her with her eyes until she was out of the door.

When the door closed behind her Kayla moved her head to look back at her son, who had broken into new tears at the mentioning of the morgue guys.

"I don't want them to take her" Wally mumbled devastated, holding so tightly on to Kuki that she might have been chocked from it had she still been alive.

Too soon the door to Kuki's room opened, making both Kayla and Wally jump in surprise.

Wally began crying hysterically in relieve when he saw it was just Genki and Kani Sanban, his heart and mind could surely not take much more of this.

Genki and Kani came over to look at their daughter one last time, to caress their daughter one last time, to hold their daughter one last time. Wally put her head carefully down on the pillow, backing away to give them room. Only for the Sanban's he would back away.

"My little girl" Genki whispered caressing her hair with tears in her eyes she leaned into her husband as she started crying.

He hugged her loosely looking at his daughter lifelessly, it was as if all feeling had disappeared from him leaving him empty and numb.

"Mushi didn't want to be here to say goodbye" Kani said, seemingly to no one in particular, with a lifeless voice. "I don't blame her"

A few tears started rolling down his tears, and he tightened the embrace between him and his wife a bit, breathing heavily in his nose trying to hold them back. He should be the strong one in this. The man who could stay there to comfort his wife. But when he suddenly found that he was incapable of controlling the tears from strolling down his cheeks, the man broke down into silent cries, still trying his best to not let them over power him so he could be there for his wife. The proud man had finally broken down, and Wally wouldn't blame him for it. After all he had just lost his oldest daughter and for what?

Because she wished for kids and Wally made that wish come true killing her... He had killed her.

The door opened yet again and Wilbert stormed in yanking Wally out of his chair holding tightly onto his arms.

"What are you doing?" Wally asked weakly not understanding what was going on.

Wilbert didn't answer he simply nodded at the door and the morgue guys entered with a stretcher on wheels with a body bag on top of it.

"No... Don't..." Wally whispered hoarsely watching as the morgue guys unzipped the body bag, put Kuki in it and started zipping it again.

The zipper got closer and closer to her face, this was the last time Wally would see the beautiful face of his beloved wife, and he felt like yanking and yanking and yanking, until his arms fell off. Maybe that was the real reason his father was holding onto him right now. Yet. Wally couldn't move at all, he just stood there numbly watching as the zipper came closer and closer and closer to completely sealing off the Japanese beauty he had married about two years ago.

"Don't..." he whispered "Don't take her away from me..."

But his silent pleas, which could as well had been screamed at the top of his lungs weren't heard, and too soon she was completely closed in, and being pushed away, and he felt how his knees weakened as Genki and Kani, broken hearted followed her out.

"Don't take her away from me..." he repeated, finally falling to the ground as his father let go. "Kuki..."

And then the world shattered around Wally and he couldn't see anything but darkness as his heart broke into thousands and thousands of pieces, and his entire body got pulled to the ground by and invisible – yet fierce – force.

He couldn't move. He couldn't think. It even felt like he couldn't breathe.

She was gone. She was gone forever.

And before he could stop it he started bawling her name over and over again, as if he was some little five-year-old boy who hadn't gotten that one ice cream he had been pleading for all day long. She was gone... She was gone and she would never come back.

* * *

_Two weeks later_

This was the worst feeling in the world, everyone who knew her was there, her entire family was there, just to say goodbye.

Abby and her husband Hoagie was there, Kate and her fiance Cecilia was there, Kimmy and her husband Max was there.

Genki's sister Rika was there with her husband Kyouya and their two girls Nadeshiko and Minomi. Genki's brother Yukiteru was there along with his wife Lilaci and their son Tamaki who, for some reason, had brought his significant other with him.

Even Kani's brother – whom they didn't talk with that often, - Muroto was there with his wife Kiseki.

Mushi was there, Kayla was there, Wilbert was there, Joey and his girlfriend was there, even Amber had showed up.

Wally looked lifelessly at the priest. The same priest who had married them.

He diverted his eyes to the casket remembering that he had to hold it and walk it down the isle along with Genki, Kani, Kayla, Wilbert and Abby.

Mushi had refused to do it out of sadness leaving it up to the first maid.

_I hold your casket, gently walk you to the grave. The clouds eclipse, the sun won't shine again. White sparrows, fell from heaven and carried her away. Black arrows, cut the strings of my heart I kneel and pray. They gave her one more day, to say the words I couldn't say. I'm crying in pain, crying in pain. Our love will remain, I'm crying in pain._

* * *

**I broke down in my pillow crying silently when I made this. After all the adventures I put them through in LTLY, this was really hard to write.**

**The last text in **_italic_** is from a song called "White sparrows" by "Billy Talent"; go check it out.**

**Criticism and/or advices on improvement(s) is/are highly appreciated :3**

**~*~TippierCoffee~*~**


	2. Daddy

_**Author: TippierCoffee**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own "codename: Kids Next Door", or any of its characters. All credit goes to rightful owner: Mr. Tom Warburton.  
I do however own all rights to Sakura and Sheila. Please don't use either without my permission.**_

_**Enjoy :)**_

* * *

Daddy

_December 24, 2024 (seven years later)_

Wally knew it was completely horrible, almost inhuman, that he hadn't been able to keep his promises very well.

He payed his mother money for the twins, no problems in that, and the school staff in charge had been really understanding of him and let him stay home for a good moth before coming back, and teaching less classes for a while. Usually they let him get away with just physical education, since it was good at removing his thoughts. Or so they had thought.

The truth was that Wally was still grieving to such an extend that he found t hard to even face his two daughters, and that was the promise he had broken.

They just looked so much like Kuki, both of them. It was so aching to see them and only be able to think of her and break down in tears, making them think he didn't like them at all.

They were young, how were they to understand that their father was a complete slow poke about moving on?

* * *

He remembered clearly how he the first year after Kuki's death had cleaned out in her stuff the best he could, but the progress had been so endlessly slow when just a little sniff too close to her clothes, would fill his nostrils with her sweet sent. The sent that no longer physically existed.

He had found their wedding picture and three pictures of her, and used them to 'build' a little shrine on the sill above the fireplace. But it was so endlessly difficult to not think about her, to not miss her, to be able to let her go. To lay in his bed at night not missing her touch, her frame against his, her sweet giggles and her warm breath.

Sometimes when he woke up in the mornings – feeling strangely cold and alone in their double bed – he had to still remind himself that she was no longer there. No more silky black hair smelling of lotus flower. No more sun-warm autumn colored eyes, no more small pink lips to smile at him or kiss him good night and good morning. No more nothing.

He remembered how he one of the days had used almost three hours just staring at his shrine.

The A4 sized wedding picture – which hung on the wall – where he hugged her from behind, both of them smiling magnificently and lovingly at the camera.

The three small thirteen times eighteen frames standing neatly in front of it, all pictures of her.

The first picture, left to right, was Kuki wearing an old orange hoodie of his, her black slim-fit jeans and her black Converse sneakers. She was sitting in a pile of fallen autumn leaves, all in bright red, orange and yellow colors. She held a pile of leaves pressed into her chest, as though she was hugging them, and her eyes held a childish and playful twinkle to them, and her lips held a gorgeous smile. Wally remembered taking this on one of their walks back when they were nineteen.

The second picture, was taken in the summer when they were twenty on the beach. Kuki was wearing a light green bikini with neon pink bra straps. She was standing with the water reaching just above her ankles, and she was holding a transparent beach ball, with silver stars loosely in her hands near the lower of her stomach. Her hair was in a low ponytail held by a silver elastic band, and she gave the camera – or rather Wally – a gleeful smile, looking like she had the time of her life.

The third picture was taken when she was seven months pregnant. She stood in a white dress decorated with flowers, holding her hands to her stomach and smiled excitedly at the camera with stars in her eyes.

Wally knew it was somewhat ridiculous, to use so much time just mourning over her, but he couldn't help it. How was he supposed to do anything else. How was he supposed to enjoy his life, when it was only half complete without her in it.

* * *

Snapping back to reality Wally took one last look at the pictures with a low sigh of longing.

It had already been seven years, and he hadn't kept his promise to her about watching out for their twins no matter what, and he hadn't kept his promise to them about visiting them every weekend and vacation.

He sighed again pulling himself together. He wondered if they'd want to see him, seeing as he had practically not seen them for five years straight now.

* * *

On the second year after her death he had payed to have a thirteen by eighteen sized wedding picture printed out, so he could place it on his night table, and look at it every day.

He still didn't know quite why he needed to do this, but it seemed important that he still had a piece of her visibly with him. This was also why he had started wearing her wedding ring in a necklace, constantly around his neck. He hadn't even taken his own wedding ring off since she died, he never did.

The only times when the wedding rings left his person was when he showered and bathed, and his own hing also sometimes went in his pocket when he cooked. Though that happened rather rarely.

He remembered being at the twins birthday and feeling guilty about not visiting Kuki's grave, and only being able to think about this marked the year day of her dead as well. That was practically the last of their birthdays he had been able to attend in person, but he still bought them presents as though they were going to make up for his absence.

On the third and fourth year he had re-arranged the entire house and made two rooms, one for either twin.

He had painted them lemon as Kuki had wished and used a good year putting furniture in it, but he could still feel a sting of agony whenever he thought about doing this alone, because he remembered how much Kuki had looked forward to doing this with him, when they had talked about it during her pregnancy.

He had even ended up buying a brown Labrador, and using an entire year making it well behaved.

Like that five years had gone by and still he wasn't able to face his twins without feeling how much he missed Kuki, and his guilt grew even further when he requested his mother for childhood pictures of Sakura and Sheila, and it turned out she had filmed their first steps, and made a book of things they had said.

It pained him to know he wasn't even there for them and yet they both had chose 'Dad' as their first word.

It took six years before Wally admitted to himself he had an actual problem, a rather serious one at that.

In six years he had preoccupied his mind, because he had been grieving over Kuki, as much as he had grieved the first day, for six whole years.

He signed into a support group and took a sort of maternity leave from the school, and used two years telling all about his lost love, his pain and sadness over her loss, and his guilt over not being able to be there for his twins, as well as the guilt for wearing his own mother down with two energetic little girls.

Two years of support group had helped him come to term with his loss, accept that she was dead and move on, honer her memory but do it another day than the twins birthday.

Like the lead psychology of the support group had said "Her grave isn't going anywhere".

And even though it had made him broke momentarily down, he knew the psychologist was right.

He couldn't keep mourning over the dead and forget praising the living.  
For four and a half years he had barely seen his girls or been there for them in any way. For four and a half years he had let them and Kuki down by being stuck at her dead.

* * *

And now, here he was, seven years after her dead in Christmas eve.

He had spent more time coming to visit the twins, mixed feelings and all.

Sheila would usually try to avoid him, and Sakura would ask him when they were going home with him.

"Come on Pepper" he called, followed by he tripping of the three-year-old lab's paws against te floor.

"We're picking up friends for you today"

Today was the day that he would prove to himself – and Kuki as well – that he could give their kids the family they deserved being in.

Today their present would be going home with him.

* * *

_6.30 pm_

"You told them anything?" he asked looking at her mother, give her a French-kiss in the door.

"Not a word" she replied, looking rather amused.

Wally nodded and let Pepper go in ahead of him. He heard the faint yapping of the female dog, and a shrilling girl's voice greeting her in excitement.

Wally stepped in, taking off his coat and shoes, listening to his mother call down his children announcing his arrival. He barely got to step inside of the living room before a small figure attacked him an a strong hug holding him tightly into her for what seemed an eternity.

"Daddy!" she shrieked

"Hello Sakura" he smiled.

"You could tell?" she asked excitedly, green eyes sparkling up at him.

"Of course I could"

He gave her gentle squeeze on the shoulder, then bent down to kiss her on the cheek.

"I have a surprise for the two of you. Where's your sister?"  
Sakura shuffled her feet a little before looking up at the blonde man again.

"She ran to her room when Pepper came in" a small pout formed on her lips, and Wally took it the more tom-boyish of his twins didn't approve as much of his presence as the youngest did.

"I can go get her down. If you want?" she then suggested. Wally just smiled and stroke her chin in response.

"Don't worry about it munchkin. I'll go to her myself okay. You can go play with Pepper if you want."

Sakura shuffled her feet a little uncertain but went to play with Pepper non the less.

"Good luck Daddy" she said, as she watched him go up the stairs.

Wally gave her a smile and a nod in return, then took a breath before continuing up the stairs.

* * *

Three gentle knocks came to her door, and she buried herself further underneath her covers crying tears of anger into her pillow.

Why did he have to come and ruin Christmas for her. Couldn't he just stay the crud away? That's what he did best anyways!

"Can I come in" she heard his voice, sounding from the door.

"No! Leave me alone!" she screamed, though to him it probably sounded muffled since she was hiding.

He hesitated a little before a sigh escaped his lips and he stepped into Sheila's room. He got a little amused but seeing the little lump underneath the covers. Her hiding skills weren't quite the best, but then again, she was just an angry seven-year-old right now.

"Hmm..." he said, drawing his words out carefully "I wonder where Sheila is hiding?"

He paced around her room before looking under her bed.

"Is she here?... Nope." then he went to look in her closet "Is she here?... Nope. What about... Here?" he sat on her bed pulling the covers carefully off of her, before stroking her hair.

She giggled a little at how he hadn't been able to find her right away, but her giggling soon ceased as anger rose again and she slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me!" she said angrily, sitting up and curling in a ball against the wall, away from him.

"Hey you" Wally said, still a calm voice, trying to remain his smile even though it pained him to see her like this. "How are you doing?"

"You ruined my Christmas" she sobbed, hugging her knees and bringing her forehead down so I was hidden by arms and shoulder length black hair.

"What do you mean by that?" Wally asked a little surprised.

"You never come see me!" she faced him, screaming in anger "You never see me! You don't love me! I hate you!" then she broke down and wally looked to the floor.

"Oh... I... I'll leave you be then Shrimp... Marry Christmas though"

She lifted her head following him out with her teary eyes.

"I didn't bring you anything this time though... I was gonna ask you to come home with me"

Then he turned, but before he got too far he felt her from behind, hugging him even tighter than Sakura had done.

"No! Plea-ease do-on't lea-eave" she wailed "I di'i (hick) I didn't me-ean it"

Wally managed to pry her off turning around and facing her, then embracing her and letting her cry into his shoulder.

"I mi-iss yo-ou Da-ad" she wailed "A-and (hick) (sniff) I-I do-on't ha-ate you-uh"

"I don't hate you either Sheila... I do love you... I just... Haven't been good at showing you, just how much I love, and miss you. And I would be really happy if both you and your sister would consider going home with me tomorrow. What do you say Shrimp?" he held her at an arms distance. Looking into her tear soaked green eyes, before wiping them with his sleeve.

"M-hmm" she nodded "I wanna go home with you"

"Me too" came a voice from the stairs, making th two of them snap their heads.

Sakura had at some point gone up to see how they were coming a long and had over heard Wally asking them to come home with him.

" wanna go home with Daddy too" Sakura sobbed, coming closer.

Wally opened one arm for her to enter and then embraced her too.

"Then we'll go home tomorrow" he said "All three of us."

* * *

_**End**_

_**I changed this chapter so much compared to my draft, but I like it so much better :)**_

_**Hope you liked this alternative ending to "Alone" despite its heavy context.**_

_**As always, Criticism and/or advices on improvement(s) is/are highly appreciated :3**_

_**~*~TippierCoffee~*~**_


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